Life Lessons Gabe & Cota

Life lessons can come out of nowhere and from a variety of sources. Recently, Valentine’s Day and a Chesapeake Bay Retriever named Cota taught me a lesson I won’t soon forget.

Valentine’s Day, more than any other holiday, produces a wide range of emotions for people. If you have a significant other, it’s a time to shower them with gifts or other forms of affection. For those of us who don’t, it is a day anticipated with dread and we want it to be over as soon as possible. According to a recent study by the Council on Contemporary Families, only 71 out of 1,000 people with moderate to severe disabilities get married. That’s just over seven percent. I am in that 93 percent, so February and Valentine’s Day was tough.

Gabe made it some better. He has a zest for life that never seems to fade no matter what is going on around him. This trait was particularly evident during the recent snow in Western North Carolina. We had around eight inches and he enjoyed every flake of it. He ran, jumped, rolled, dug holes, chased frisbees, pretty much the things he does on a normal day except in the snow. His double, curly coat kept Gabe warm and dry and I have never seen him happier. Watching Gabe gave me so much joy and it took my mind off feeling sorry for myself.

Since the snow caused so many ballgames to be canceled, I had the chance to stay home from work. I was able to explore the 500+ channels in my cable TV package for the first time. I found Lassie, Gunsmoke, Tom &Jerry and Scooby Doo, just to name a few. Then one night, as I was flipping through the channels, I saw a Chessie on the screen at the The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. I stopped and stared. He was beautiful. From nose to tail and all points in between, Cota the Chessie was a perfect example of the breed standard. Apparently, the judge agreed with me because Cota not only won the Chessie class, but the Sporting group and then reserve best in show. I know I am biased, but Cota should have won Best In Show over that Doberman.

Cota’s mannerisms reminded me so much of Gabe. Not only do they look similar, they have the same walk, the same Chessie smile and Cota even gave his handler a hug in a gesture that I know so well. The world was treated to a true Chessie on display and he definitely won the crowd over.

Gabe’s similarities to Cota made me think, if he had been chosen by different owners, could he have been a dog show winner? Probably. I think he is the best dog in the word. But circumstances or fate caused Gabe to come live on the Conley Farm instead of strutting his stuff in New York City.

Conversely, I wondered how my life would have been different without Cerebral Palsy? Would I be celebrating Valentine’s Day with someone special? Would I have a family of my own? Would I still be a writer? It was truly an “It’s A Wonderful Life” moment for me. I reaffirmed my decision to try and find joy in the midst of living life with a disability. The key is not to compare your life with those around you that have the metaphorical Best in Show ribbon on display. Their lives are not perfect either. Admittedly, some days and seasons, like Valentine’s Day, are tougher than others. It takes strong faith, leaning on family and friends and the constant companionship of a Chessie named Gabe to make it through.